Therapy for Complex Trauma
As a child...
Did you feel your needs didn't matter or that your emotions were "too much?"
Were your caregivers unpredictable or volatile, leaving you on edge and chronically anxious?
Did you feel that love or affection was contingent on your achievements?
Did you hold responsibilities for siblings or caregivers that should have never been yours to manage?
Were you left to handle your emotions alone without support of a loving adult?
As a mother...
Are you finding it difficult to maintain calm when your child is upset?
Does is feel like your nervous system is stuck on high alert and you can't relax?
Do you find yourself triggered when your child pushes you away or prefers another caregiver?
Are you trying to offer emotional attunement to your child that you didn't receive yourself growing up?
Are you working hard to break generational cycles through gentle parenting, but feeling you don't have a blueprint to navigate it all?
What is complex trauma?
Complex trauma is also called relational or developmental trauma because it forms through the course of relationships (often with caregivers) that did not meet their child's basic needs for safety and belonging. This can include a variety of early experiences: abuse, neglect, parental substance use, or a parent who relied on you to meet their emotional needs. As a cycle-breaker, it's everything you don't want for your own kids.
In order to survive the trauma, kids develop unique methods of protection: shrinking, care-taking, or reading the room with an uncanny precision. While these adaptations are rarely conscious, they are wise. Our nervous system's survival responses kick in to help us through situations where there was little else we could control. As an adult seeking to heal from childhood trauma, it is helpful to begin to see our younger selves as brave and resourceful, even as we gently invite our inner child into a safe haven of compassion - within therapy and within ourselves - so that these defenses can begin to relax. These survival mechanisms might be showing up as you embark on your motherhood journey. The goal is not to shame them, but to help bring healing so that we can shift out of survival mode and into a place of empowerment.
With support, we can finally breathe a little deeper and focus on showing up to our lives with presence, intention, and joy. Breaking cycles for the next generation often starts with healing ourselves.
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